The powerful Weapon of a Christian Wife

Someone forwarded a message to me on WhatsApp; part of it reads:

“Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it, to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that it is in their nature to cheat. I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home; I am an irresponsible mother”.

Sounds unjustifiable, isn’t it?  A man is not more human than the woman, both were created in the image of God, and given authority to rule and dominate the earth. Both have the right to education, and excel to any capacity (according to their ability), in life. As far as life is a concern, they should receive equitable treatment.

                  The world system is corrupt

But wait a minute, good as that may sound, there is more to it than saying it. The world is corrupt; it thrives more in injustice and oppression than equity and justice. If you stand for the truth you become irrelevant and an enemy of progress. If you insist on your right, the world makes every effort to silence you by any means. The irony is, both man and woman are guilty of that kind of attitude at different spheres of life.

Now, the question is, why is it so? The simple answer is, both man and woman sinned, and they became corrupt. They forfeited their God-given nature and adapted the nature of the one who deceived them (the serpent which is Satan). So, life by the world system is all about survival for the fittest. Whoever has the upper hand oppresses the one under him or her.

          Patience is a virtue

So what is my point? The point is, the world system cannot give us the peace and joy we are looking for, especially in marriage. If you are like me who desires a happy life, you would forfeit any self-indulgence attitude in exchange for your peace. And God’s standard for a happy life is concealed in a life of sacrifice which is all about patience.

Indeed, sacrifice is costly but very rewarding. If truly you want peace and joy in your marriage, you must learn patience because it is a great weapon to defend peace in your marriage. Sticking to your rights, and standing at logger-head with your husband would not give you peace, rather, break your heart into pieces. There’s this Yoruba adage that says, “Two lambs cannot drink water from the same bucket; they would lock horns”.

Patience is a virtue and one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Gal.5:22); it is also an attribute of love. Hans Sebald Beham’s(1940) defined patience as:

the ability to endure difficult circumstances such as perseverance in the face of delay, tolerance of provocation without responding in annoyance/anger; or forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with long-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity”.”

Now a wife’s patience can be described by the following acronym:

 

 

 

 A man wants respect at all cost

As a matter of fact, the Bible did not say a husband can behave anyhow toward his wife; rather he is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. He should be able to love his wife to the point of giving up his life for her (Eph.5:25-29). Unfortunately, many husbands are unable to perform their responsibility on grounds that their wives are not submissive. And we know that the Bible did not give any conditions; rather it says,

” Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for her. “

You and I, know that many husbands have failed in that aspect as much as many wives have also failed.

But, here is the good thing about a man, you can easily win him over if you are patient with him. It has been proved that some husbands exhibit certain attitudes towards their wives to intimidate them. They think that is how they would earn respect from their wives. A Pastor friend told me how he rescued one woman from her husband when he attempted to shoot at her. Later on, the husband told him that he just wanted to frighten her, so that she would respect him because she had the economic power in the family.

           How you treat your husband makes a difference

You would agree with me that some husbands that cheat on their wives can be a terror at home, yet worship other women outside. The question is, do those women outside there have other features on their bodies different from their wives? If no; then why are they able to subject men to that level? The reason is they have a particular goal to achieve. So they  bear every attitude that the man exhibits,and try to be nice to him irrespective of odd attitude. A woman of that nature would do everything possible to make the man happy because she knows that once he is happy he would do anything for her.

If a woman would make such a sacrifice to win your husband away from you (for example) why won’t you do it to keep him for yourself? I know in our African context, we easily say they are using charms, but even if it is true, there is no charm as powerful as obedience to God’s word.

                Patience is a weapon to protect your marriage

Specifically, to illustrate my point is the life of Sarah; Abraham’s wife; she was patient with her husband. You would agree with me that the most humiliating thing your husband can do to you is to deny you. Two times Abraham told his wife to say she was his sister to save his life(Gen.12:13-16,20:2). I know it is easy for us to justify it; but when you put yourself in her shoe, is it easy to do that? Remember, Sarah did not know how the result might be; she might end up becoming a wife to someone she never loved, and another woman marries her husband. But, she was patient with him and obeyed.

At other times she demonstrated her patience when she went out of her way to prepare unplanned meals. A particular instance is when he received  three men who brought the news of her conception. The Bible said, Abraham was sitting in the tent door in the heat of the day; when he lifted his eyes, he saw three men standing by him. He welcomed them, and asked them to stay awhile so that they can be refreshed. Then Abraham hurried to his wife and asked her to prepare a meal as quickly as possible(Gen.18-1-6).

Imagine, in that heat of the day, she might have cooked lunch, and was resting; only to be told by her husband to prepare another meal immediately. The issue is, the visitors came without any prior notice, and there was no plan on ground to prepare another meal at that time of the day. Think of the inconvenience; yet, Sarah heeded her husband’s instruction without complaint.

           Learning from Sarah

Has your husband ever asked you to do such? As a Pastor’s wife I have found myself in similar situations, and most times I felt very inconvenient. I recall a particular time that we receive four unexpected guests in our house late in the evening. They were to sleep in our house and proceed the following morning to their destination. I must confess that I felt offended, but could not say anything to my husband. What I did that helped me was prayer; I quickly sneak away and whisper to God for grace, and He did. Immediately I felt peaceful, and what I considered to be a mountain became a level ground. God gave me wisdom and was able to attend to those guests satisfactorily with all pleasure. They were so grateful, and my husband was happy with me for the sacrifice made.

The reward of patience is great

As for Sarah, God stood for her; he protected her from the two kings who attempted to marry her (when the husband said she was his sister). Besides that, the most exciting aspect is that Abraham loved and respected her. He submitted himself to her wishes. When she told him to sleep with her maid to have a child for her, he did not object. Though God has promised them a child, Abraham went ahead and did what his wife told him.  After the maid became pregnant, and she started disrespecting Sarah, When Sarah complained, Abraham said she should do to the maid what she seems best.

From all indications, Abraham made the interest of his wife his interest. Did that happen overnight? No; she made the sacrifice, and she got the reward.

In like manner, The Bible admonishes us to learn from her. It says,

“As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror”. 1Pet.3:6

Whatever challenges you may be experiencing, be patient, keep praying, good days are coming.Gal.6:9 says,

 let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not lose heart”.