Facts You Need to Know about Biblical Submission in Marriage

What comes to your mind when you come across the phrase “submission in marriage”? Does it make any sense to you? It seems the issue of submission in marriage is becoming outdated and irrelevant. The general opinion now is, we are in a civilised world, so both husband and wife have equal rights. What men can do, women can do better; so who should submit to the other?

Do you also think that submission in marriage is outdated? Well, whatever your opinion might be, the truth is many women are having rough experiences in marriage. Some men have abandoned their responsibilities to their wives, while others hardly show love. The saying goes,“ a good turn deserves another”. It is expected that each should fulfil his or her role. Where the husband fails to fulfil his role, the wife may think submission is irrelevant.

               No happiness in marriage without mutual relationship

But what do you think would happen in a marriage relationship where the couple is not in unison? I guess you would agree with me that such a relationship would be void of true happiness. Since no one is willing to humble , it would be difficult for smooth flow of interaction.

Now, if that is how it looks like in a marriage where each claims his or her right, don’t you think the aim of marriage is defeated? It is expected that husband and wife should be the closest friends; having respect and love for each other. But when each feels he or she is an authority, would there be any room for such? It is no longer strange to see a couple behaving like strangers. If you come across some couples or visit them, you would think they just met with each other.

         No gain without cost

I am sure you would agree with me that every woman wants to have a sweet marriage relationship. But how can that be since we have neglected God’s order in marriage?

Now, this is God’s order in marriage:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the saviour.

Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her;

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”Eph.5:22-28

The one who instituted marriage provided the manual for marriage relationships, but we rejected it. We said it is old fashion, yet we don’t see marital problems as old fashion.

As a matter of fact, if we want to enjoy a sweet marriage relationship, we must follow the manual provided by the creator. We must choose to do our own part even when the husband fails to do his. I can almost hear you thinking, that is injustice; now consider these facts:

 

 

1.  Submission is God’s Will

Submission in marriage is an instruction from God that we must follow because he is our Father. When we were much younger we didn’t know the value of education;when our parents ensured that we must go to school. At that time we thought they were unfair to us, but we are benefiting from it now. In like manner, God knows what is best for us. The basic truth is, God’s thoughts are higher than ours, and if we refuse his will we cannot reach where we want to go. Human judgement will fail us, but obedience to the will of God shall be rewarded.

2.  To submit is God’s order for the family

In every institution there is an order of leadership; the same thing applies to marriage. God appointed the husband to be the head of his wife. Unfortunately, the appointment is without qualification requirements. Note that the scripture did not say, wives should submit only when the husband loves them. It rather specified each one’s responsibility. So, where the order is violated there must be a problem. This is because an institution without leadership is bound to fail.

3. Submission speaks more than words

According to 1Pet.3:1-2, it says,

“Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word,

may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied with fear”.

In light of the scripture above, the act of submission in marriage has the power to change an unbelieving husband. That is to say, the way you respect and honour your husband speaks volumes. How do you think your husband would treat you if you influence his life positively? I guess he would honour and do everything that will make you happy.

4. The act of submission in marriage is precious before God

God cherishes a wife who submits willingly to her husband; with a sincere mindset.  The scripture further says,

“rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God”.

It means submitting to our husbands is not just to our husbands but an act of service to God.

5. Submission in marriage is an act of humility

It takes a humble heart to submit voluntarily and willingly. An arrogant person cannot stoop low for anyone. But as children of God, he expects us to walk in humility as Jesus. The Bible enjoins us to be of the same mind with Christ, who, being in the form of God did not consider equality with him, but humble himself and become obedient to death on the cross (Phil.2:5-9). The Lord Jesus is God the Son, but put off his position and took the position of a servant. If we belong to Him, we ought to be like him because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (Jam.4:6).

As  Christian women, the Bible is our standard, it does not matter what civilization has come up with; the word of God endures forever. It does not go out of fashion. If we obey it, our marriage would not go out of fashion either.