Courtship can be interesting and romantic. When couples are in courtship they hardly accuse each other of any wrongdoing, even when one wrongs the other they quickly resolve it.Try and point one loophole of one of them to the other and you become their worst enemy. They are best of friends, any little problem with any of them becomes a thing of concern to both. I remember a man once told me how he would jump to his feet once his fiancée gave him a call. He never forgot any of her birthdays and it was always accompanied with surprises (special gifts). But after they got married, he said he hardly remember it, even if he does he doesn’t buy any gift.
I recalled the time I and my husband were courting we were so fun of each other. I never believed we could have any serious disagreements in our marriage. I recall the time we went for counselling in preparation for our wedding, the Pastor and his wife shared with us their experience in marriage. They told us that we are bound to have disagreements and at times turn our backs on each other on the bed. In my mind, I made nonsense of what they were saying. I couldn’t imagine vibrant Christians like us to behave that way, but it happened anyway. I did not only turn my back on my husband but on several occasions, I ceased talking to him for days.
You would agree with me that this does happen with most couples. Have you ever asked yourself why this is so? This reminds me of a parable of the weeds that Jesus told His disciples. In the parable, Jesus said, a farmer sowed good seeds on his field, but while everyone was asleep his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat. When the wheat germinated behold, the weeds also appeared. The servants of the farmer came to him and said,”Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from”? An enemy did this” he replied.(Mat.13:24-28).
Is this not what Satan is doing to Christian marriages today? While we all plan very well to have a successful marriage, yet some end up with broken marriages. I believe there are no couples who got married with the intention of separating one day. We all wish our marriages thrive with love, but as the journey continues things began to take a different dimension. DO you know the mistake we are making? Once couples get married, each feels it is the responsibility of the other to make the marriage work. We give the relationship less attention and concentrate more on our personal endeavours. While we are busy chasing our careers, Satan takes advantage of it and sow bad seeds in our marriage. When the seed germinates the one- time best friends begin to have issues and eventually the relationship turns formal.
Satan’s aim is not only to destroy our marriages but our own lives in eternity. He knows that once we are not in good terms with each other we cannot be in tune with God. Someone may say, her relationship with God does not depend on her marriage, but one thing I know is that Jesus said, “so if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift”.( Mat.5:23-24). God requires us to be in peace with each other so that we can be able to worship Him in spirit and in truth, but when we are not at peace with each other how can we do that? Sometimes we expect God to do a miracle in our marriages but we neglect the power of His word because we are filled with self-righteousness. When we are full of ourselves we cannot expect to hear from Him. It is good to pray, but we must also obey His word.
I am sorry for sounding too blunt, I don’t mean to hurt you, rather I am raising an alarm that we need to wake up from our slumber.Many marriages are failing and God is not happy. I know many women are working hard to sustain their families, but it will be much better if we care more of the spiritual without neglecting the physical. We may be praying for our families, which is good, but how are we praying, that God should change our husbands isn’t it? I think we need to change the pattern of our prayers a little bit. Why not pray that God should change you, so you can be more loving, more forgiving and be able to submit in everything? The word of God in 1 Peter 3:1-2 admonishes us as follows, “Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives. When they see the purity and reverence of your lives”. Heaven is worth sacrificing for.
May God help us to take advantage of the grace He has made available to us.
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